Night Tragic, Elizabeth May both visit the Hub
Published Thursday October 2nd, 2008
Elizabeth May run but she cain't hide, figgers Homard!
Liz, she might be running for the Green Party but she remind Homard of another Elizabeth.
She only make one stop in New Brunswick on her national train tour last week, and only stay in Moncton long enough to give the Royal Wave and wish da local candidate Alison Menard 'good luck kid, you gonna need it.' Homard is puzzle she didn't stop in Fredericton instead where at least they gots lotsa old hippies and a river that look like it is worth the environment instead of disgusting Petitcodiac River.
All the smelts there are suspiciously brown, wit no eyes and they float a lot better than they swim.
But anyways you can't blame Liz for choosing the Greens; at least it's better than the NDP or the Bloc-Head du Quebec, where poor old Gilles Duceppe better take off his hair-net and start wearing the fish-net stocking instead, not to mention Speedo, if he hope to gain the momentums among all those sex-craze Queebeckers.
Otherwise all that's left for Gilles is to fight off Stephane Harper for a drum-stick or a left wing from the carcass of the Night of the Liberal Dead leader, his udder brudder Stephane.
But speaking of fish-net stockings and good old Monkeytown and sex-craze, there is lots of crying in the Hustler Hub tonight!
Looks like some teenage vandal "" or maybe somebody else but Homard heard it was definitely not Mayor Georgie-Porgie LeBlanc "" kissed the bikers and made them cry by lighting a match under the Night Magic stripper club next door to the Moncton High School.
Now those poor high school boys got nowhere to go for the after-school sex edumacation classes and also the high school girls are probably mad too because one more lost opportunity for the 'job shadowing' program!
Maybe the boys too for all Homard know.
Homard does not mean to discriminate and if the Night Magic is a equal opportunity abuser maybe they also got the 'pay equity' program for tips, just like the provincial government.
Anyways if those Northumberland Strait-laced Hubtowners don't like strip club and high school to be friendly neighbours, maybe they should just move that club up to Fredericton.
Homard hears Mayor Wad Boardside is jealous of Georgie because he's got all the entertainment business, so strip club would be a good fit beside the Beaverbrook Art Gallery.
If that is the kind of art Homard figgers it is, that sure makes a lot of sense for 'cluster' business or even 'strip mall' hoo-ha!
But speaking of suspicious, it was supposably gonna be Night Tragic in Saint John last weekend according to all the TV stations, who said for sure Hurricane Kyle was gonna blow the whole town!
The Saint Johners was some excite I hope to tell you; they even chase away the cruise ship probably because they did not want all those Yankees horning in on their action.
But next thing you know Kyle show up and he was about as exciting as the Tory provincial leadership race, where even the hot air is missing.
No Night Magic and no hot air; not much friggin' wonder New Brunswick is feeling so deflated this week.
Homard Simson is a freelance government artist living in beautiful downtown Cap-Engorge-sur-Mer.
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