WTF?

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speakup

I don't know why I'm continually surprised by men or the situations they find themselves in when it comes to women.

Seriously.

I should stop being shocked at the shit I discover. Because let's face it, nothing should be shocking when you've been dating as long as I have; everything and anything you can think of has happened to most of us single girls.

For those of you who tuned into my last column and read about my friend's adventures at the bar with Red Bull and vodka guy; well I have an update. Yeah, it ain't pretty either. Red Bull and vodka guy was pretty smitten with her and showed it during the course of the evening. He attempted to get her number, but opted to add her to Facebook instead (what has the dating world succumb to? We add strangers now to Facebook instead of the good old fashion number approach). Anyway, after drilling me and our other friends for hours on end about her status and likeability, he pretty much solidified the fact that he was interested and was going to pursue her via a date in the near future.

Well, upon "accepting his friend request" on Facebook, my fair lady friend made a startling discovery -- his status said 'in a relationship with'. WTF? He's got a freakin' girlfriend! Now, before you start feeling bad for my friend, take a step back and realize that the person we should feel bad for is this bozo's girlfriend.

Why in the world would he pursue my friend like prey and then be dumb enough not to get her number (because otherwise she wouldn't have known about his status) and add her to Facebook knowing full well he's already involved with someone else? Dumb ass move on Red Bull and vodka guy's part if you ask me. If he wanted to cheat, he definitely sucks at it (thank god!) Say it with me girls...NEXT!!!

This brings me to my next point; why in the world are men so friggin' afraid to admit they're either in a committed relationship or that they're dating someone? This isn't the first time I've come across this situation. Guys are so vague on reporting their status that it always leads to suspicion. Listen, no wonder girls get defensive and untrusting; you're not giving any indication to think otherwise. I don't know how many times I've heard stories or witnessed it first hand. You start chatting with a guy, things seem to be moving along smoothly, only to find out later that after he's complimented you, told you he'd like to see you again and wants to get to know you that oops, there's one catch; he's already doing all those things with someone else!

Hell, I've even seen this done with some of my closest male friends. I've been out with them, witnessed them hit on a girl, buy her a drink and her never be the wiser that his gorgeous girlfriend is at home. It's infuriating.

Then again, if a guy is going to behave in this way, I obviously don't want to be with him anyway. If he acts that way with a girlfriend, then guaranteed he'd do the same if he was with me. No thanks, I'll find a real man who is proud to have me by his side and proud to let the world know we're together. Those guys who aren't for one reason or another certainly don't deserve the fabulous women they're with and like most things in life, it'll come back to bite them in the ass one day soon.

Speaking of real men, here's another not-so-shocking tale that just occurred a few nights ago. There's no way in hell a real man would pull this stunt, and apparently my ex isn't a real man.

We all know that with most breakups there comes the point where you will eventually bump into each other. Our run-in happened last weekend. I didn't spot him first, he spotted me (while I was talking to someone else mind you). He made his way over to me, proceeded with small talk to which I did respond because I'm not a bitch nor do I feel the need to act like one. He offered to buy me a drink, but I politely declined and made my way back over to the guy I was talking to earlier. Mid-way through the evening I got a text message (now referred to as sext message) asking where I was headed after the bar. I didn't respond. I did see him one more time before we left and he pulled me aside and wanted to know if I'd go home with him.

WTF? Where on my forehead does it say, you can have your cake and eat it to? Again, not shocking at all, but I was still a bit surprised. He broke things off with me and chose his career over being with me. Now he thinks he can sweet talk my pants off and have a romp in the sack without consequence? I don't know what was more infuriating; the fact he thought I'd agree or the fact that he obviously doesn't know me at all and would even think that this invitation would be flattering.

Needless to say, I declined and headed home with the girls. Two days later I got another sext message at 4:27 a.m. that said "How are your inhibitions on an early Tuesday morning?" You've got to be kidding me. I assumed we had a mature breakup but again, not shockingly, I guess we didn't.

Maybe I shouldn't flatter myself into thinking that booty call had anything to do with the breakup, I think he's just a horny guy looking for a piece and I was the closest thing at the time.

When it's all said and done at the end of the day, as long as I've still got my pride and my integrity (and so do the rest of the single girls) we can all simply sit back and laugh at these never-shocking incidents. I mean without them I'd have nothing to write about, right? And trying to figure out why they happen is exhausting, sometimes it's best to just roll with it and keep on keeping on.

E-mail jennifer_batog@hotmail.com