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Royal collector's plates give way to Royal Happy Meal collections

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TORONTO "" With interest in the monarchy at an all-time low, monarchists are dealing with a record low number of Royal Collector's plates and are instead collecting official McDonaldland toys highlighting the royal visit.

Prince Charles and his second wife, Camilla, are featured in a series of small, plastic toys that come with Happy Meals just in time for their 11-day tour of Canada. Horse-riding Charles, waving Camilla, and a special retro philandering Charles and Camilla highlight the set. Toronto historian and collector Robert O'Neill says the sets are a unique opportunity, but that he misses the Royal china.

"This Camilla toy is clearly Grissom with a hat," he said.

However, O'Neill said that he does appreciate that McDonald's plans to honour the royal couple by making many of the Happy Meals botulent.

Mini-chocolate bar found in bag of razors

FREDERICTON "" RCMP say local shavers should be on high alert after a miniature Kit Kat bar was discovered inside a bag of razors this Halloween.

A local man discovered the weight-inducing chocolate - sometimes known to cause hypertension or diabetes - amidst a six-pack of blue Bic Razors. The man did not eat the bar, the RCMP said, but he did accidentally get chocolate on his fingers and neck.

"This was too close for comfort," said Sgt. Bob Finch. "We are checking the area for other instances of sweets placed within sharp objects."

The Kit Kat culprit could face charges of mischief and endangering life. Police are reminding all adults to go through their razor blades thoroughly before shaving with them.

"We've also had one instance of Sweet Tarts amidst birth control pills," Finch said.

Acid spill eats away oil spill; environmentalists fear loss of funding

PACIFIC OCEAN "" An acid spill off the coast of China is eating away at an oil spill, a turn of events that the World Wild Fund for Nature says could cost them millions of dollars in fundraising.

"The sinking of Dubai Oil's double hulled tanker had caused a slick dozens of miles long, and better yet it was approaching a bird sanctuary," said group spokeswoman Greta Powell. "To have that taken away from us without warning, it's very hard."

Powell said the sulphuric acid spill, caused when a Japanese petrochemical supply ran aground, will also cause some animal death.

"Unfortunately, nobody wants to send money in for a skeleton," Powell said.

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E-mail: johnmazerolle@hotmail.com